Doomsday Preppie arrested

Published February 22, 2013 by justicewg

Photo from lasard's Flicker streamTwo cultural standards collided in Worthington last week, and resulted in the arrest and eventual commitment of a man to a state mental-health facility.

“Worthington Police Lt. Mike Dougherty said Velie is a “doomsday preppie,” which is someone who stockpiles weapons, food, batteries and other necessities. They are stocking up for the ‘big one,’”

“This guy had enough J. Press and Brooks Brothers clothing stored up to outfit a small army. He was found to be hording Argyle sweaters, chinos, madras, Nantucket Reds, button down Oxford cloth shirts, and boat shoes. I guess he though he would come out of his bunker after the apocalypse and start his own preppie school. We can’t have that sort of thing going on in our community, even after the big one. It would be better for humanity to die out. “

Police determined that the collision of the preppie culture and the Prepper survivalist memes had driven the man into mental shock, requiring his involuntary commitment. “He kept saying “Buffy and Biff need to be ready WTSHTF, OMG, LOL.” We didn’t understand him, so we sent him for treatment.”


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